Tuesday, 6 September 2011

Mister A : First Day At School

Ok, we made it... despite the rain and floods of parental tears (me and Chris!) Our little boy, complete with royal blue uniform, survived his first day at school.

We had wanted to walk but the weather denied us the short stroll and so we drove, all of us together, our family. I took him in via the wrong entrance - obviously - and he got settled in straight away.

Anxious parents gathered in the classroom - each one not wanting to leave first but not wanting to hang around long enough to look too clingy. I stood awkwardly, it was my first day too! 

I watched him for 7 minutes. These 7 minutes lasted longer than any other 7 minutes of my life. A little bit of my heart broke seeing him run off and start playing without even a second thought for the enormity of the day.

A part of me wanted him to say "Don't go Mummy" but I knew that he was loving the 'new school experience' and I know in my heart that I'd much prefer him to be nonchalant than cling to my leg and beg me to stay.

I kept calling him over, "Mummy's going now" "Ok, Bye" he replied not even looking at me.
"Mister A, come here, I'm going, have a nice day" "Ok Mummy, Bye" he kissed me on the cheek and wandered off.
I called him again, "Bye, Mister A, can I have a kiss?" He returned to me and kissed me, I pulled him close, hugged him tight and then let him go - I could sesnse I was beginning to p*ss him off with my constant calling across the classroom! That's when it hit me. That is when I realised that it was me that wanted to cling to his leg and ask him not to go.

God. I am literally crying now, re-living that moment. A tough day...

I am sad, I am happy, I am proud.... I am a Mummy.

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